do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
