Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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