The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
