I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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