I CAN MOONWALK!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
