You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
