dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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