no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
