maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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