So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
