im holly from the hills drunk
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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