I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
