'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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