Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
