He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
