Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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