Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
