To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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