all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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