hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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