hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
