I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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