i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
