They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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