thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
