At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
