After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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