I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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