Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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