My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
false alarm, still single
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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