She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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