is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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