He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
