Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
