holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
