OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
