Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
