that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
