i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
