My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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