You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
