Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
