There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
