i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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