Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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