Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
