It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
