Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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