He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
