i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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