dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
