Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
