i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
